Diclaimer: Don't own it. I own my computer, lots of books and my Sims, who someone borrowed and didn't return.
Rating: PG-13. I never got the rating (since I'm operating on Polish "green cirlce, yellow triangle, red square"), but I think it's something PG-13ish.
Pairing: Huge B/G subtext that apparently somewhere in the middle became
text. I have no idea how that happened.
Spoilers: Something? None? Don't know... It's happening somewhere between s4
and s5, if it helps.
Distribution: You want it? I need to sit down. I'm siting? Good. Just let me know.
Feedback: Yes, please. Praises sought, advice much needed, flames are funny.
It's my first story written in English, so please, be kind.
My thanks to Liz, who betaed it. Thanks(period here)
* * *
There comes a time when man has to get in touch with his inner geek.
The Hellmouth was quiet lately; it seemed that demons and vampires liked to take
holidays like everyone else.
No one needed his services as a key guy or heart of the SuperSlayer.
Xander Harris had time on his hands, and he knew what he was going to do with
He opened a small package and pulled out a shiny silver disc.
It caught the light and shone like every other good plot device...
"Xander? You here?" Willow Rosenberg walked down the stairs to the basement.
"Your mother let me in. We were worried. We hadn't seen you since...." she
stopped when she noticed her friend wasn't listening, his eyes glued to the
small monitor. "What's this?"
Xander handed her small package without single word.
"The Sims? What's this?"
This time boy looked at her and rolled his eyes. "Will, you're supposed to
be a computer whiz, right? And you don't know the most popular game?"
"I'll let you know that my computer usage is one hundred percent, strictly professional. I..." She stopped again and looked at the monitor. "So, how do
you play it?"
Buffy was bored.
Riley was still in Iowa, and Willow and Xander disappeared somewhere
yesterday and hadn't been seen since then.
Come to think of that, it was suspicious.
She hopped to her feet.
Slayer on the mission. Localize her friends.
"Guys? Are you here?"
Buffy glared at them. Xander was sitting behind his desk, busy with
something he was doing on his computer. Willow was curled on the couch,
laptop on her lap, completely lost to the world.
"What's the what, guys? Sun, holidays! And you're sitting in the basement?"
She sat next to Willow and glanced at the screen. "Oh. What's that?"
"No, you idiot! Not on the floor! You have perfectly good toilet, there's no
reason for you... Argh, not again!" Xander showed the Sim his middle finger.
Willow giggled and glanced at Buffy's monitor. "Whatcha doing?"
"I've got a wedding. This is sooo cute."
They watched in silence for a moment while Buffy's Sims engaged in long,
long, very long kiss.
"Uhm... Buffy?" Xander asked slowly. "Are you being transfery, or
"No, why? What?"
"It's just..." Xander glanced at Willow. The redhead smiled knowingly.
"Your Sims remind us of someone, that's all."
Buffy glanced at her screen. The woman, currently engaged in mating rituals,
was blonde, dressed in white blouse and black pants.
Xander looked at Buffy's attire pointedly. White blouse, black pants.
"Oh!" Buffy understood. "I hadn't noticed."
Willow rolled her eyes and pointed the man on the screen. It wasn't the skin
from the game; it was one Willow had downloaded - a little older, handsome
guy, dressed in smart brown suit. And he had glasses.
"Doesn't he remind you of someone?" Willow asked innocently.
"What? Robert? No..."
This time both Willow and Xander rolled their eyes. "You called him Robert?
"And what's her name?" Willow asked curiously.
"Bethy, but why are you asking?"
The phone rang.
"G-man! .....Yes, she's here.... No, she's okay..... Yeah..... Okay...."
Xander put the phone down. "That was Giles" he announced, as if no one realized
that somewhere around "G-man". "Apparently you were supposed to train,
"Oh. Oh! I forgot!"
"Yeah, with the wedding night and everything," Xander motioned to Buffy's
computer. "He'll be here any moment now," he added and watched in amusement
as Buffy's hands wandered to her hair to check if it was alright.
"Yeah. And your hair looks good."
"Really?" Buffy smiled, than frowned. "And why should I care?"
"Hello," called a new voice from the stairway.
Willow only waved her hand, too busy with trying to make her Sims kiss. How
did Buffy do it so quickly?
Giles smiled at them, his eyes softening when he looked at Buffy.
Then he looked at the computers and frowned, "What are you actually doing?"
Two shadows walked through the Restfield Cemetery.
They stopped and looked around suspiciously.
"It's been four days now" shadow number one turned, revealing his fangs. "You think she kicked the bucket?"
"Nah," answered second vamp sitting on the tombstone. "There would be new
one, remember? And there is no new one. So, she's alive."
"So where is she?" First vamp glanced around. "It's not fair, you know? She
should be here. Not hiding in the shadows, scheming, plotting our
"What are you talking about? What plotting?"
"Oh, you know. No one seen her, or her Watcher for days now. Or the red Witch or the boy either. Even Spike doesn't know where they are."
"So? Holidays. Maybe they went to Disneyland."
His companion gave him a "yeah, right" look.
"Or maybe..." he continued speculating. "Maybe they went to Vegas."
"Why the hell do you think they went to Vegas?"
"Oh, you know... wedding chapel, Elvis impersonator..."
'Who? The boy and the witch? Word is she's gay. And he's hanging with that
blonde weird girl."
"Not them, you moron! Slayer and the Watcher."
"Oh, come on! There are totally together. Anyone who's seen them can tell that."
"I haven't seen them."
"Not together. I'm still here, right? Together, they are..." he shivered. "I
would say deadly, but somehow it's not a good word."
"So, you think they're in Vegas?"
"That's one possibility. Of course, they could be plotting against us."
They looked around in fear "Say, you want to go to Vegas?"
Three weeks later Spike still wondered why the hell he seemed to be the only
vampire left in town.
And the only casualty in town was poor ParkerSim, swimming in his pool with
no way out, life control over his head dangerously fading....
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